When the stars go blue
by solstjerne
Summary: OneShot: Lily has a habit of disappearing whenever James is trying to explain something to her. Where does she go? And more importantly why?


**When the stars go blue**

It was like any other Sunday at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The spring allowed the students to spend their afternoon on the grounds. Some first years practiced flying and some studied under one of the big trees. However, not all students had decided to spend their afternoon under the warm sun. James Potter found himself leading a girl down the stairs to the dungeon.

"What if someone comes down here, James?" The girl asked giggling.

"Don't worry," he answered with a grin. "Everyone is busy outside, in the library or in their common room."

"Well if you are sure," she stopped giggling but the smile didn't leave her lips. "Tell me something; why is a seventh year leading a sixth year down to a deserted dungeon?"

James grinned again and took her hand to pull her closer to him. He had of course an intention with this. An intention he had had with a lot of girls over the years. Snogging. He leaned down and started kissing her passionately. He could feel her hands ran through his messy black hair. He returned it by sliding his hands into her soft, brown hair. He could feel her lips breaking into a smile again.

Suddenly he heard a loud bump behind them. Naturally they pulled apart to find the source of the noise. James recognized the redhead standing on the stairs above them. She quickly knelt down and picked up the books she had just dropped. She send him the hard, cold look he had gotten countless times over the past seven years. She walked past them and continued down the stairs.

"So much for privacy," the blonde girl said, "Where were we?"

She put her arms around James neck and leaned in to kiss him again. "Actually," James said and took a step back out of her grip, "Would you excuse me?"

He didn't stay to wait for an answer. He walked down the stairs, which eventually led to a corridor. He followed the corridor until he caught a glance of red hair turning the corner. He speeded up, and as he got closer he heard could hear quick footsteps. "Evans!" He called out. He did not receive any response. "Evans!" This time the footsteps stopped. He reached the corner and turned into yet another corridor.

The redhead was waiting for him in the middle of it, still with the cold expression on her face. "About what you just saw," he started as he got near. "well…" he tried to find the words. "You know…" nothing came to his mind. "You see…"

"You know," The girl said. "I was just going to let this one slip, but since you are her-"

"I know the speech you are gonna give me-"

"Then you should know not to snog a girl in broad daylight in the middle of a staircase."

"Lily, I-"

"_Potter_, what are you doing here?" Lily said. They only used surnames when they spoke to one another.

James let out a sigh. How was he ever going to get out of this one? "I came to explain myself, but you won't let me."

"Go ahead then."

"Lily that girl means nothing to me. Merlin I don't even know her first name." He knew he had to continue quickly. He had been in this situation before. Every time he is about to explain something, where he might end up letting Lily Evans know his true feelings, she ran away. "All right that did not come out right, but let me explain to you."

"Don't do this, Potter," she said quietly. Like she had done before, she turned and walked away hastily. He guessed she had come down to the dungeons to see the potions teacher, professor Slughorn. She had obviously decided to cancel that meaning.

"Jamsie!" The blonde came running towards him.

"Not now." Yet again he walked down past her and followed Lily's tracks. When he came up from the dungeons he was not able to see her anywhere. With a sigh he continued walking down a corridor he knew led to the Gryffindor common room. On the way he met a familiar face.

"Prongs!" Another black haired boy said. "What's the hurry?"

"Hey Sirius," James greeted his friend. "Have you seen Parker?"

"Parker?" Sirius sounded surprised. "I don't see why you would be looking for her, but she is in the common room. Was that sixth year not a good enough snog for you?"

"Come on, Sirius, it is not always about a snog." Sirius only grinned at his friend. James walked on and entered the portrait hole, which led to the Gryffindor common room. Though the weather was good outside, he found the common room to be almost full. He searched the room for a brown haired girl, also know as Jessica Parker. She had been Lily's best friend since their first year at Hogwarts. He finally found her reading a book in the corner. "Parker, have you seen Lily?" He asked when he came over to her.

Jessica looked up from the book. "What did you do now?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well it means what did you do? That could have something to do with where she is." Jessica explained calmly.

James hesitated. "Well she caught me kissing O'Grady, a sixth year Hufflepuff girl," he finally started explaining. "And I ran after her to explain, and-"

"She would be at the top of the Gryffindor tower then," Jessica interrupted him. He gave her a quizzical look. "Just trust me. But remember Potter; I trust you will handle this correctly. Don't screw this one up!"

James didn't need anymore information, or an explanation of why she was so sure he would find Lily at the top of the Gryffindor Tower. He didn't stay to find out either, but made his way as fast as he could. Jessica was right. When he reached the top room of the tower he found Lily looking out through the only window in the room.

The stairs gave into his weight and made a loud noise. Lily spun around immediately and looked very surprised. "What are you doing here?"

James took a step closer towards her. "You already asked me that once today, and you didn't let me answer. Will you do that now?" She didn't answer, but didn't move from where she was standing. "Listen Lily -"

"Why are you calling me that?" She interrupted him yet again.

"Well it's your name."

"For as long as I can remember we have always, called each other by our surnames. Even when we became Headboy and girl, that didn't change."

"Would you let me finish for once?"

"Fine," She spoke quietly.

James took a deep breath before he continued, "I have been trying to get to you to go out with me for the past seven years. You haven't agreed to it once and still I felt so guilty when you caught me kissing that girl." Lily opened her mouth to interrupt. "Let me finish!" She closed it again, studying him closely. "I didn't feel guilty because I was setting a bad example to the other students. I felt guilty because I saw the look on your face when you saw it. Please put me out of my misery and tell me if there was no look. If that is the case, I will leave now and leave you alone forever."

She stared at him again but didn't say anything.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her carefully after some long seconds of silence.

Lily thought about it for a while. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she opened it once again after a while. "I'm trying to think of somewhere to go to avoid this conversation, but now that you have found that place I have nowhere to go."

"Why would you avoid it?" James' voice lowered as well.

"I guess I -" Lily started. James noticed she was still looking at the floor. He understood that this was not something she was used to do. "Didn't want to face facts." She finally spoke. He kept staring at her. His eyes bored into her red hair and the small forehead. He knew how uncomfortable it would make her feel, and frankly he wanted nothing more than to put her out of this situation, but he had to know the truth. This way, he could get her to talk again.

He noticed how hard she was thinking. He could see the small wrinkles that formed on her forehead every time she was having problems with something. For example, whenever she was working on a hard essay. It was little things like that he had noticed about her the past seven years. He hoped that he would get to tell her about that some day. He had a whole list of things like that. Her favourite colour was blue, she used her right hand to write with, she liked cereal in the morning, she would send an owl to her parents every week, she would sit up till late just to get all her homework finished perfectly, she liked looking at the stars – and they always seemed to fit her mood somehow, she bit her lip whenever she was nervous, and she could make any guys heart melt.

He couldn't take this anymore. He didn't take his eyes away from her head though he just took a step closer to her. She still didn't look up. He took a hand to her cheek and pulled her head up to face him softly. His eyes met hers. He swore he could look into those emerald eyes forever. He closed the small gap between them, and placed his lips on hers. They only brushed over hers, but once he felt her kiss him back, he deepened it. He wrapped his arms around her waist, which he felt, she didn't mind at all. Was he really making her knees weak? He smiled to himself as she wrapped her arms around his neck and slowly started to play with his hair. He felt fireworks go off in his stomach. No snog with any girl could beat this one kiss.

Neither of them was sure, how long the kiss had been going for, once they pulled apart to catch their breath. "Was that a fact?" James finally spoke up after a while.

"I suppose," Lily said and looked up at him. It was like she was searching him for something.

"Don't deny it then," James said. He hoped this could convince her, he really meant everything with that kiss.

"Really?!" She said and looked into his eyes again. "I don't know about you, James. You don't exactly have the best reputation, when it comes to dating a girl. How long has your longest relationship lasted? Two weeks tops." At least she called him by his first name this time.

"I tried to explain this to you already," James defended himself. "Those girls never meant anything to me."

"So what – you just took advantage them?"

"No! – And you're interrupting me again." James paused to take a breath. He wasn't sure where to begin – but he figured he had to start somewhere. "I guess I never really cared about them as I did about someone else. When they didn't match that person, I just couldn't date them anymore. I wouldn't do that to them or myself. It wasn't fair to either of us." He met her eyes to check her reaction. She looked a bit shocked. "And that person is you – if you haven't already realised that."

"I figured," Lily said quietly. "Or hoped it would be."

James smiled and wrapped his arms around her again. He rested his head against her forehead and looked into her eyes. "You never told me, why you came here."

Lily swallowed hard and looked down. "This is where I always go when I need some time alone. To think, be angry, or just feel bad for myself. I don't know why I chose this place, it just seemed peaceful."

"Where will you go now that I know about it?"

She looked back up and smiled slightly. "No where. I won't need a place like this anymore." Her voice turned into a whisper as she said, "Thank you for following me." She leaned slightly up and kissed him on the lips. This kiss seemed deeper and more passionate than the first one. Everything was going to be alright now.

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A/N: So I know this one was not as long as the other oneshots I've written. It's been lying around on my computer for months and now I finally finished it! I hope you liked it!

It was based on the song When stars go blue.


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